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6 Ways to care for a loved one struggling with depression

2023 dot 5 min read
Healthy Mind
Good morning exercise
What comes to mind when you imagine someone with depression? Contrary to what some may believe, depression does not just mean being sad or crying in bed all day. It also includes symptoms such as loss of pleasure, fatigue, feeling worthless and more.
 
The way depression manifests itself varies significantly from person to person. For example, some people may be prone to anger and aggression, and may engage in risky behaviours such as increased alcohol consumption. There are also cases of high-functioning people with depression who seem fine on the surface but actually struggle to get out of bed each day.
 
In addition, the condition is more common than you might think. Research shows that 14.1% of Singaporean adults have symptoms of depression, and around one in three young people suffer from mental health problems.
 
Do you know a family or friend struggling with depression and are you wondering how you can help them? Here are six ways: 

#1 Check in regularly

The causes of depression can vary widely. In some, it is low self-esteem that predisposes them to this illness. For others, there are genetic or biological causes. Depression may also be triggered by stressful events — job loss, financial debt, or the death of a loved one.
 
Because of the many different ways depression can manifest itself and the varying causes, you may not always know which of your loved ones is having a hard time.
 
You need to ask. Talk to the people who are going through a life change. See if those who have suddenly gone quiet or who may be acting a little differently are doing well.

When doing this, avoid closed-ended questions like "Are you okay?" which can lead to one-word answers. Instead, start with questions like "How are you doing?" or "How is your new job?". The key is to keep the conversation going and encourage the person to open up.

#2 Offer practical assistance

Although severe or prolonged stress is one of the causes of depression, depression also affects our coping strategies and can make us more vulnerable to stress.
 
Another way you can support a loved one suffering from depression is to simply alleviate the stressors they are facing.
 
If they are going through a busy period at work, offer to drive them home. And if it's a new mum who needs to get used to caring for her newborn, deliver a meal or offer to help her clean up. It does not have to be a grand gesture. Little things can go a long way in making life a little more pleasant and in turn, less stressful.

#3 Provide companionship

Isolation, like stress, can both cause and be caused by depression: For when we are depressed, we want to withdraw. But prolonged social isolation also contributes to poorer mental health. It's a vicious cycle, but one you can break by spending time with your loved one.
 
Besides inviting them out for coffee or a meal, you can also consider engaging in activities together that have a positive impact on mental health. For example, meditation has been found to change areas of the brain associated with depression. Yoga can also have a positive impact on mood, and there are several yoga studios in Singapore that offer an extensive range of classes for beginners and more experienced practitioners.
 
You can even try volunteering to do good while socialising. Join a food distribution team, help clean up the beach, or share your skills by teaching. According to an article in the Journal of Happiness Studies, volunteering once a month is enough to provide mental health benefits!

#4 Start an exercise routine

Other activities that have shown to be beneficial for people with depression include exercise. Studies have found that just 15 minutes of exercise for three times a week can significantly reduce the risk of depressive symptoms. People with less sedentary jobs and high physical activity also had a lower risk of depression.
 
According to Dr Michael Craig Miller, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, this could be for two reasons: First, because high-intensity physical activity can release feel-good hormones called endorphins, and second, because low-intensity physical activity sustained over a longer period of time can promote the growth of new neurons and connections that can alleviate depression.
 
Bring your loved one out for a jog, to the gym, to a fitness class or even explore hiking trails such as the MacRitchie Reservoir Park for a good dose of nature — anything that gets the heart pumping and the endorphins flowing. Why not make it a routine to hit some AIA Vitality fitness challenge goals, so they can give their life structure and have something to look forward to each week?

#5 Be empathetic

As much as you want your loved one to recover quickly, avoid telling them to "snap out of it", making comparisons like "there are others who are worse off," or giving unsolicited advice. This can make them feel judged or belittled — and you wouldn't tell someone with food poisoning to "get over it", would you?
 
Instead, listen. If they are hesitant to share or participate in activities, give them time. After all, many people have a hard time opening up, and sometimes it provides comfort for them to know you are there for them when they are ready.

#6 Encourage them to seek help

This brings us to the last point: remember that you are not a mental health professional. While you can offer a listening ear and companionship, you cannot always "fix" the problem by simply talking about it and giving advice. There is also a risk that you may feel overwhelmed and drained from offering support.

That's why it's important to encourage your loved one to reach out to a professional and seek help.
 
Alleviate worries about the treatment cost with AIA Beyond Critical Care, which covers five prominent mental illnesses, including depression, and provides a refund of the total unused annual premium at the end of the policy term.

Think Well, a mental health initiative created by AIA and WhiteCoat, is also an option. Your loved one can speak with a qualified mental health professional via text message and from the comfort of their homes. Follow-up care is also available through text message, video call or in person, and they can access a library of mental wellness articles and videos for additional support.

Depression does not have to be a debilitating, lifelong condition. With the right treatment and a strong support network, your loved one can get through the tough times.
References
3.     Hi #JustCheckingIn - Health Hub
4.     Stress and Depression - Web MD. 2021.
5.     Understanding the Effects of Social Isolation on Mental Health – Tulane University School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine. 2020.
6.     How meditation helps with depression – Harvard Health Publishing. 2021.
7.     The Efficacy of Yoga as a Form of Treatment for Depression – Journal of Evidence Based Complementary Alternative Medicine. 2017
9.     Exercise is an all-natural treatment to fight depression – Harvard Health Publishing. 2021.

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