Happiness is Fleeting. It's Time We Rethink the Work-life Equation

For the first time in my life, I asked an insurance agent out for a chat.

Man, how the tables have turned. Except they’re not called insurance agents anymore, but Financial Services Consultants (FSC). Time to adapt.

If the very idea of dollars-and-cents gives you the jitters, you’re not alone. I’ve ghosted FSCs far too many times to count—messages blue-ticked for two years and up; my hesitance eventually evolving into an existential nightmare.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Perhaps, I’ve unknowingly mirrored this silly dance from watching my parents deal with their own finances. Like most people, they’ve adopted the ignorance-is-bliss, you-only-live-once (YOLO) mindset when it comes to financial planning.

It took a pandemic—a disruption so jarring that people (including my parents) were sent towards deeper introspection for once. Corona, though a global crisis, single-handedly rallied aspiring fitspos, gardeners and home chefs to the frontlines of social media. It was then that we questioned what a “better life” even means. In wanting better for ourselves, we scrambled to review finances, relationships, health, and fitness—or our lack thereof. 

Just like how Chemical X helped birth Powerpuff Girls, a study in 2020 underscores some real actions (or ingredients) we can take towards a better life. Think of it as a self-help book: far cry from being a foolproof magic formula, but a helpful guide nonetheless. The Subtle Art of Not Spending a D*llar.

The study points to things like quality relationships, time to recharge, and a sense of independence as ways to improve our overall well-being. All that sounds easy only in theory of course. But I could speak to one person who might know an answer—a FSC, to be exact.

These folks always seem to have it all together. Please, let me in on your secret. I won’t blue-tick you this time.

I’ll tell you this: Shawn comes across as the stereotypical FSC with an infectious go-getter energy. His life, so well put together on social media you can’t help but feel a little envious. Think achievements, motivational captions, client testimonials, fitspo shots and large-group gatherings—all markers of a seemingly happy and fruitful life.

Don’t be fooled by just the highlights of his life though. Like the best of us, 30-year-old Shawn’s had his fair share of lost days. As it is, he was originally a communications major until he stumbled upon a job opportunity in financial services 7 years ago.

Long story short: for Shawn, the media life wasn’t it (and, speaking from experience, I don’t blame him).

Rather than being a cog bounded by the 9 to 6 routine, he yearned for a career that would grant him higher fulfilment and control. That boiled down to time—even if it means an extra hour to spare for loved ones and the gym.

“Better” is generic. “Better” requires us to first acknowledge what’s missing in our current life. It encompasses not just a good grasp over finances, but a constant investment into our physical health and personal relationships. Shawn points out that this balance is what we collectively wish to have, but often lose sight of.

From Shawn’s experience with clients, woes typically extend beyond finances. There’s all these other aspects that linger in the recesses of our mind—things like work, relationships and health.

“With every person then, it’s always about figuring life together over a meal and heartfelt conversations,'' he explains. “Like ‘What is not going well?; and ‘How can we find the solution to the missing piece together?’”

He went on, explaining what the all-so-familiar Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT) means. For an advisor, an MDRT stamp is proof that you are a high flyer; it also makes you more likely to be considered a good candidate for leadership positions.

But perhaps what’s less known about MDRT is that it revolves around a “whole person concept,” Shawn explains. Having a solid sales track aside—the advisor must also be someone who manages their personal life, health and relationships equally well.

Shawn half jokes: “In that sense, this standard applies to everybody. We want to be financially secure at our jobs—that’s one thing, but we also have to juggle everything else at the same time.”

This takes commitment. It’s easier said than done. Shawn recognises that these efforts don’t come easy. I mean, how can someone fit in exercise and entertainment when they’re busy trying to keep the lights on?

Though Shawn’s moved out from his family home, he makes it a point to get together with family once a week—every Sunday, in fact. If his schedule allows it, that includes squeezing in some workout time too. “To be honest, I’m always struggling to have it all too,” he confesses.

While at his home, I noticed the little signs of efforts made towards a healthier life. There were resistance bands, weights, even health supplements sitting on his dining table. Routine health tests aren't foreign to him either. On that day, he had even just returned from a dental check. As much as possible, Shawn tries to schedule these mundane things as a way to take charge of his health.

Just then, I noticed a motivational quote placed right at his doorway. “Stay Hungry, Stay Humble,” it states. Cheesy, but somehow very fitting with his take towards life.

What’s more, are the posters of Marvel superheroes that line the walls of his living room.
I’m not saying Shawn’s a superhero; he’s far from it. But they certainly add to the whole ‘I’m not perfect but I’m trying to help you’ vibe he has going on. (Fun fact: Doctor Strange is his favourite hero).

“It’s tough lah, but I try,” he chuckles, slightly embarrassed. “I don’t always have it all together, but only when these aspects are in place do we really feel happy.”

It’s safe to say that, within these seven years, Shawn’s done quite a fair bit for people at their most vulnerable moments.

Sure, there may be investment plans that help the rich get richer, but that doesn't paint the full picture of what FSCs actually do. Shawn’s first death claim, in fact, came unexpectedly when he was only a few months into the job.

His cousin had passed away from an unnatural death during Chinese New Year. It was followed with a series of frantic processing of paperwork. While dealing with the family’s grief during the festive season, Shawn needed to remain professional.

Even at this moment, he’s handling breast cancer claims — two women, in their 30s and 50s, who had been diagnosed with the unexpected illness. 

Once, Shawn even helped a friend who unfortunately got into a motorbike accident. The incident broke multiple of her bones, causing the medical bill to round up to a stunning ~S$100k. Till this day, this same friend jokes about how, if without insurance, her savings would have been cratered.

I couldn’t help but notice the cast wrapped around Shawn’s arm at one point during our initial phone call, which he soon explained to be an injury caused by martial arts (just one of his many active hobbies).

“As a FSC, I knew that I had coverage already. When I needed to go for the surgery for my arm though, I thought about how it would’ve been better if I had bought more,” he jokes.

“I mean, nobody wakes up and wants to buy insurance. People are sceptical and that’s normal. Our job is unique because it requires selling something that you wouldn’t know you need.”

I came to know, through my conversation with Shawn, that there are a few things in life more fraught than conversations about money, illness and death. Talking to a stranger about these worries takes guts and some level of vulnerability; more so for guarded folks.

For comfort to be met, it requires a level of communication that’s hard won—I had to be honest about my worries, but he needed to meet me with empathy and sincerity.

Despite my half-interview, half-rant, Shawn remained patient, never jumping in to advise.

In all honesty, it wasn’t hard to break down those walls. We found common ground likely due to the close age gap, and soon dug out relatable challenges faced by our generation. He even shared a little about his personal life; of how his younger sister faced the same quandaries because her first job offered awful working conditions.

All of these forces—the taboo, the fear and embarrassment—conspire to keep us away from having important discussions. When you look at it this way, these have all been episodes which helped to grow Shawn’s appreciation for the job.

Even as a junior, he’d witnessed first-hand how something so technical as ~policies~ can tangibly help people in times of crisis.

If we seek to improve our circumstances, we might just need to be okay with being vulnerable and open. Otherwise—and it takes a herculean effort for me to say this—it might be a little too late.

Only in recent years did it occur to me that much of my family’s financial predicament could be avoided with proper planning in place. Till this day, my parents regret opting for a five-room flat that was way above their spending capabilities. I was too young to understand the magnitude of their decisions then.

All that hustling left little for their retirement, let alone the luxury of time for friends and personal growth. 

Frightening as that sounds, it’s just part of being human. As Shawn affirms, regrets and procrastination are commonplace. He sees it on a regular basis. I’ve always wondered how different my parents’ situation would look if they had spoken to a professional first. The view I get from sitting on the fence may be great, even enlightening, but I’ll still be in the same spot.

I asked Shawn if it's ever too late to turn things around. “Cliche—but rather than beating ourselves up, it’s better to move forward and see poor decisions as learning lessons. That’s the only thing we can do,” he assures.
 
It’s hard not to panic while gazing into the uncertainties of the world. With financial adulthood comes a series of firsts—loan payments and other complex decisions that keep us away from living our best life. Like many people, I’m guilty of sometimes living on autopilot. In our quest for better, that often leaves loved ones and our health (both physical and mental) at bay.

One thing is certain: for our sake, let’s start talking about it.

This story is published in partnership with RICE.

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Author: Eve Lock, RICE Media.

Content originally published at Happiness is Fleeting. It's Time We Rethink the Work-life Equation